Here sat an old man dying of lung cancer. Sickly he made himself some soup. His house was a shack, with old metal chairs used by restaurants, and a used restaurant table that he got from his brother. Here was a man that use to have the most prestigious job running a huge mental hospital in the 1940s and 50s. Unlike his fellow doctors Sam believed that the mentally ill should live in a level of comfort, that they should be treated with respect and cared for, instead of being treated like a wild animal that needed a strong hand of control. Sam tried very hard to create an ideal place of compassion and kindness. However his ideas would not last as other doctors and administrative staff felt his ideas were too lofty. They turned against him, and though he fought long and hard to convince his bosses of a better way it only left him jobless, penniless, and sick. He thought about the handful of people he truly did save, contemplating whether his efforts where worth it..
As he brought the soup to the table he suddenly gasped for air, he begin to violently cough, the soup fell to the floor as he grabbed his chest with pain. He fell to the floor and began to turn blue, Sam struggled to reach the phone, but then as he got to his knees he bellowed over and died.
Then he began to float, at first hover over his own body, but then like a balloon with helium he floated higher and higher, up into the sky, each moment he accelerated faster and faster, soon he was high above the planet, he glared down at it in awe, he was leaving earth. Then he left the solar system as he crossed Pluto. It was in that moment he raced across the stars like light itself. There was a shutter of freedom that exploded inside of him. After a short time he stopped, surrounded by total blackness. In the darkness a small light appeared, then the light made beautiful swirls of light, all different colors, then the swirl became brighter and brighter, first small it begin to light up everything around it.
Sam felt like he was being pulled through a liquid, that felt magnetic. Then as if reaching another side he found himself in a completely different place. A massive space filled with light coming from the center. The light was a massive star, its size epic, the light was bright and slightly blue. Then a white and gold fire exploded out of it, the fire hit him, and in that brief moment as the fire engulfed him he felt love, kindness, joy, calm, peace, awe, exuberance, and most of all freedom all at once. A voiced roared and whispered all around him in an echo, “Welcome home.. I am so proud of you!” Sam realized at that moment he was in the presence of God. This light was God.
This place, where all things begin and end. This place where all life came from. The hub of the entire space and all the galaxies. The creator sat at the center, a star of unspeakable power. This wasn’t a being of all knowing but gave birth to knowledge. This wasn’t a being who mastered time and space but gave birth to it and in that brief moment Sam felt overwhelmed at the idea that this great force was talking to him, an infinitesimal ant sitting in front of this mega Sun.
Then Sam’s life became a review that he saw in front of his eyes, all of his accomplishments, all of his failures, his struggles and his moments of triumph, circling around him. Then other lives also circled him, one by one, until he remembered everything, every last moment of his entire existence, spanning so many lives. His memory changed him into who he truly was, the man Sam was just one day among hundreds.
Sam would surround himself with others that flew and floated around the great Star of life, this place of light and energy, it was energy and light that gave birth to all other things. As if God was energy, as if god was an element among all the other elements. A being of fire and lightning and light. All of them enjoyed each others company. All of them embracing each other with love and civility. This place, without violence, or cruelty, without hate or despair, without sorrow or pain. A place so perfect, that perfection was gaged from it. He would sit for a great deal of time here. His time felt both brief and forever. But like all young souls he knew eventually he would return to living lives. But for now, it was time to rest, it was time to spend time at home, it was time to return to where it all began. In one moment he remembered the house, the soup, and realized all of his sacrifices he contemplated where actually worth it. Sam was with his creator, what could be greater than that?
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